Week Thirteen

Lisa just had her 30^th birthday a month ago, and she celebrated it with her closest friends and family.  She is very proud of all she has accomplished in her life thus far.  It has not been an easy path for Lisa given her disability, but she has persevered despite the many obstacles.  Although Tim and Yuting initially protested Lisa and Tray getting married, they ended up seeing the love that Lisa felt for Tray and supported their marriage. 

As they had initially hoped, Tray is able to move into the community apartments designed for individuals with disabilities.  Lisa has no choice but to move out of her smaller apartment into a slightly larger apartment, in order for Tray to be able to live with her.  In the apartment there is a kitchen, one bedroom, one full bath, and a living room.  It is a small apartment for two people but having an apartment this size is easier for Tray to manage his way around in. The community apartments also assist with the maintenance and up keeping of the apartment, which really helps relieve some of Tim and Yuting’s worries.

  It has not been as easy of a transition to the married life as Lisa and Tray had hoped for.  Because of Lisa’s busy schedule working and volunteering, Tray frequently gets upset that Lisa isn’t always there for him.  During the day, Tray goes to the community center for a few hours, but he is unable to keep as busy as Lisa given his blindness.  Lisa understands why Tray gets upset and she proposed to Tray about getting a pet for their apartment.  They spoke to the head of the community, and he informed them that they are unable to have a dog but they can have a cat or any smaller sized pets.  Lisa and Tray decide to get a Tabby cat from the SPCA that they name Fluffy.  Fluffy has been a great addition to their household, and he provides company to Tray when Lisa is not at home.

Lisa is happy to receive a raise to a Disability Mentoring Coordinator who works in the Disability Mentoring program. Her position allows her to bring local children and mentors together. She enjoys this opportunity because she can meet other people from both sides of the program and match the individuals based on her observed compatibility. She began this volunteer job at 36 years old and continues to work as the coordinator at age 46.  Lisa had to stop volunteering with the Special Olympics after she married Tray because she became too busy and wanted to try and spend more time with him.

Lisa decides that she no longer has an interest in medical billing and becomes a guidance counselor’s assistant at an elementary school close by. She began this full time position at age 32. Lisa hasn’t considered another career path after several years of working within the school system. Her salary is now at $20,000 per year. She feels that this is enough for her and Tray to make a happy living considering their housing is already paid for. Tray and Lisa feel that they are able to spend little money in their daily activities.

Like most couples, Lisa and Tray entertained the idea of having children. However, after discussing the matter with Tim and Yuting, the decision to not have children was made, based on financial difficulties that would arise and the current living situation. Even though they decided not to have kids, Lisa still ended up getting pregnant. Unfortunately, however, Lisa suffered a miscarriage and lost the baby. Tray was able to comfort Lisa as much as he could, but Lisa found solace in the company of her mother, which strengthened the already strong bond between them.

Shortly after the miscarriage, Yuting suffered from a bought of pneumonia. Unfortunately Yuting was not able to pull through this illness and passed away from complications in the hospital. This event in Lisa’s life just added fuel to the fire that was Lisa’s depression. When Lisa miscarried, she started feeling different, very sluggish and just not happy in life. When Yuting passed away, the traumatic event sent Lisa into a downward spiral of depression for the next 2 years. Finally, Tray speaks up about his concerns for Lisa’s health and their relationship. He had been trying hard to help Lisa work through her feelings that were a result of the recent tragedies. Tray made Lisa aware that he was beginning to feel unhappy in their relationship; Lisa was no longer the optimistic fun-loving woman that he knew and loved. The words that Lisa heard coming from the man she loved made her extremely distraught. On one hand, she felt that he was not being supportive of her, and on the other hand, she agreed with Tray when he said something had to change. Since Yuting was no longer there to provide support and advice to Lisa, she and Tray decided to attend couple’s therapy sessions. This allowed the two of them to work on their relationship and strengthen their weak areas. Lisa was able to work towards, and gain, the same trust and support in Tray that she used to have in her mother. Although Tray would never replace the relationship Lisa had with her mother, this helped Lisa work through her depression.

The passing of Yuting proved to be difficult for Tim to deal with as well. In order to help both himself and his daughter cope with the loss of Yuting, Tim frequently visited Lisa and his son in law. This gave him a reason to get out of the house; being there only provided sadness due to the absence of his loving wife. Tim’s visits also provided Tray with more company while Lisa was at work and allowed the two to form a stronger relationship. The presence of her father further helped Lisa in dealing with the death of her mother.

A few years later, Tim ended up being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease and was put in an assisted living community. Lisa struggled with the idea of putting her father in an assisted living community, but after discussing it with Tray and the therapist, she realized that her father would end up needing more care than she and Tray would be able to provide him. This added on to the stress that had building up in Lisa’s life but through continuing therapy, both individual and couple’s therapy, Lisa was able to cope with all that was going on in her life. She made sure to visit her father as much as she could, tray often accompanying her. It was clear that their visits made a world of difference to Time. He was extremely happy and proud to have such a wonderful, loving daughter.

Over the next couple of years, Lisa continued to grow as an individual. She eventually got back to being her happy, fun-loving self. Throughout her therapy sessions, her therapist had suggested that Lisa involve herself in more community affairs since she found so much joy in helping others. She continued to work at the elementary school aiding in the guidance counselors office. She was able to talk to the guidance staff about creating a program within the school that allowed other individuals with disabilities to come together to share their struggles and work together to overcome them. Lisa loved being able to help other children who were experiencing some of the same struggles that she did. She was able to provide a lot of advice as well as inspire many of the children attending the elementary school. Lisa also decided to return to the Special Olympics. When talking about her previous involvement in the program during therapy, Lisa realized how much she enjoyed assisting at the Special Olympics and decided it would be a good thing for her to do again. She was not able to have as much involvement as she did in the past, but she went to as many practices as she could and was always sure to make it to the meets to provide support for the children.

Lisa continued to give back to the community as much as she could. She felt that so many people had helped her along her journey and she wanted to do whatever she could to repay them and give back. She found so much happiness in being able to make a difference in other individual’s life. Her and Tray were able to develop friendships with their surrounding neighbors. Lisa suggested to them that they all start having a group game night. Every Thursday evening, Try and Lisa got together with their neighbors to play different games and just socialize about their lives. They took turns hosting each week.

By 46, Lisa was exactly where she wanted to be. She had experienced a few bumps along the way, but through support from her husband, father, and therapists, she was able to leap over those bumps and regain her happiness. Lisa was able to find comfort and enjoyment in giving back to her community, whether it was through her new developed program at school, the Special Olympics, or participating in different community activities and fundraisers. She turned out to be a very happy and successful individual, despite her disability and the struggles she encountered along the way. She has been an inspiring story to those surrounding her; she has provided hope for those who have disabilities as well as those who don’t!